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« Martin Luther King 2005: Remember The messenger but Forget the Poor | Main | BBC: Global poll slams Bush leadership; people in 21 countries »

19 January 2005

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John M. Burt

News Item
Samara, Ohio -- Today the bandages came off and Missy Potamia's family got to see the 13-year-old's reconstructed face for the first time. Two years after an unfortunate misunderstanding when she tried to deposit money at her local bank, extensive surgery has undone broken cartilage, smashed cheekbones and shattered teeth.

Her mother was delighted.

"To tell the truth, Missy was always a plain child. Her big blobby nose and buck teeth were a real drawback, but we could never have afforded braces, let alone plastic surgery. Fortunately, the bank's insurance paid for it, and since her face was so totally ruined, it gave us a chance to give her the look she always wanted."

Bank security guard George W. Bush declared that Missy's beautiful new face vindicated his own actions two years ago.

"Even though it appears she wasn't actually trying to rob the bank," Bush said, "it's now clear that I still did the right thing in taking prompt action with that baseball bat."

Bush's contract with the bank has recently been renewed for another four years.

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